We have once again arrived at the first day of April. The day that is set aside in the calendar each year for fooling, foolishness, and perhaps even fools – in the archaic “jester” sense of the word. It is a day for classic pranks, deceptions, and ruses intended to entertain the perpetrators, audience, and eventually, even the victim.
The more unexpected the source the better the prank. Back in the day (April 1, 1970), the staid NBC Evening News ended a broadcast that included stories about the My Lai Massacre, a plane crash in Morocco, and a brewing gambling controversy involving one of baseball’s best pitchers with a “commentary” about the robustness of that spring’s “pickle crop” complete with video from an orchard of “pickle trees” (the whole thing an homage to (or rip-off of) a BBC spaghetti tree story). A decade later, a local Boston television station decided it would be “fun” to report that the largest hill in the area was erupting, an aftereffect of the recent Mount St. Helens eruption on the other side of the country – complete with footage of flowing lava. The pickle tree ruffled some feathers, the volcano, well, think a smaller scale version of the infamous War of the Worlds broadcast.
Most importantly, what set apart both of those stories is that they were the exception; so far different from the norm that they could be tolerated (more or less) one day per year even on a television news broadcast – the primary and, perhaps for some, the lone source of news in the day. Same with the foolish pranks like the loosened cover of the sugar jar or the swapping of salt and sugar.
But what are we to make of April Fools’ Day when the top stories on virtually every news program (and there are so many of them) feels even less believable than the pickle tree story. Surely they must be making that up. He/She/They couldn’t possibly have said/done/thought that! Not again, anyway.
And how do we fit April Fools’ Day into a world in which the vast majority of phone calls, e-mails, and now even texts that we receive multiple times per day are pranks; and not the harmless kind, but elaborate schemes designed specifically to prey on the weak or distracted to inflict great damage.
Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right
Of course, it’s not just news programs and scammers that we have to deal with on a daily basis. It’s also the daily actions, inactions, and hijinks of those fools on and around the Hill.
Over the past couple of weeks I have received letters from my alma maters and seen posts from various professional organizations that lead me to the conclusion that the best course of action is to suffer these fools gladly; that is to show patience and restraint, while calmly and cooly making our case and standing our ground.
I have to confess that suffering fools gladly was never one of the tools in my personal or professional toolbox. Patience, tact, diplomacy are skills that often eluded me or remained just beyond my grasp whether as a consultant, teacher, friend, or in the endless, perpetually flawed pursuit of a life spent in the imitation of Christ.
Of course, as a psycho-metrician I was given a certain amount of leeway in professional interactions, but I’m not sure that I could thrive or survive in the current environment. I’m guessing I would be given just enough rope to hang myself – either voluntarily or involuntarily. Of course, I also haven’t had the benefit of working full-time these past five years in a world in which fact became a four-letter word and calling bullshit a character flaw rather than valued trait. Embedded within that setting on a daily basis, I’m sure that I would have adapted or evolved – enough.
I do live most of my life in the gray area, so how much more difficult can it be to see fifty shades of gray in issues which seem clearly black or white.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain” as they say, and “foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”
I can accept that the same state tests that were too racist to administer two years ago are too essential to even consider not administering now. Context matters. Always has. And politics makes strange bedfellows. The enemy of my enemy, and so forth.
I can agree that there is plenty of chaff to separate from the wheat throughout the federal government, including within USED, but still know that taking a scythe to the entire landscape like the Grim Reaper and tossing everything, wheat and chaff, into the unquenchable fire is not the way to go about it.
Like Abraham, I can plead and bargain for our version of Sodom, “What if there are fifty, or twenty, or even only ten righteous research projects and programs that can be found among the waste and inefficiency, will you still dismantle the whole thing?”
And most of the time I can appreciate a well-timed, clever prank or joke.
But maybe not this year.
So don’t try to convince me that the University of Maryland has named Kermit the Frog as their commencement speaker.
This year, as March Madness slowly gives way to April, I just plan to embrace spring and enjoy the return of baseball.
So, I won’t be amused by obviously false reports that the Red Sox DH has struck out as many this first week as Tony Gwynn did in an entire season or that the Yankees are hitting home runs with bats shaped like torpedoes.
Fool me once, …
Happy April Fools’ Day!
Embrace the Absurd 