While rummaging through a box of old photos and other treasures the other day I came across the School Days memory book which my mother had lovingly and meticulously curated from kindergarten through twelfth grade. There in the first-grade pouch, tucked in among the report card, class photo, and orange dental certificates (iykyn) was my first very first newspaper clipping.
I knew that the clipping would be there, as it has been for nearly 50 years. As I gently unfolded it, I knew that I would see the photo of me (well, the back of my head), Miss Lydon, and Mary Ann Brassard, my crush and my first academic rival repurposing a discarded supermarket container into a precious gift for our parents (to clarify, Mary Ann was both the rival and the crush, although Miss Lydon was pretty cool). What floored me as I read the headline was that the article was about Father’s Day.
I would have bet anything that those fruit baskets that we were so delicately “weaving” were for Mother’s Day.
And that’s kind of the way it goes with Father’s Day. It just doesn’t carry the same weight in our everyday life and in our memories as Mother’s Day.
We set aside a day each year to honor and remember fathers. Father’s Day, however, often gets lost in the shuffle during a pretty busy couple of weeks. Coming on the third Sunday in June, Father’s Day is in direct competition for our attention with the first day of summer, and here in New England, the last day of school. That last day of school always meant a trip to Howard Johnson’s for a fried clam dinner and ice cream sundae. I don’t recall a special Father’s Day meal, but I’m sure that there macaroni, meatballs, and sausages were involved – it was a Sunday, after all.
On top of those two huge annual events in the family calendar, Father’s Day is not even the only holiday celebrated in mid-June. Growing up in Boston, we had Flag Day on the 14th and Bunker Hill Day on the 17th, either leading into or bookending Father’s Day. That’s a lot of celebrating in one week, and that was before Juneteenth and Pride Day/Month celebrations were added to the mix.
Fun Fact (i.e., digression) #1: Bunker Hill Day was one of three Revolutionary War era holidays celebrated in the Boston area each spring. Coming in mid-June, Bunker Hill Day meant that we often had a day off during the last week of school, effectively delaying summer vacation – perhaps the only week all year that kids and teachers don’t want or need a holiday. It was only about 10 years ago that the Bunker Hill holiday was finally removed from the school calendar only to be replaced in 2021 by Juneteenth. Clearly, somebody up there wants there to be a holiday during the last week of school.
Of course, it’s not just holidays that fathers have to compete with for attention. We cannot forget graduations – Dads and Grads (at least dads get top billing).
For years, the Northeastern University commencement was scheduled for Father’s Day at the Boston Garden. That was where my parents spent Father’s Day 1965 as my father received his bachelor’s degree. My sister (4 yrs. old) and I (6 yrs. old) were deemed too young for a long ceremony and spent the day our grandparents, after stopping en route for a family “photo shoot” at Franklin Park – the crown jewel of Boston’s Emerald Necklace. Eighteen years later, it was back to Boston Garden for Father’s Day 1983 as I received my master’s degree from Northeastern.
Graduation even played a role in what unexpectedly turned out to be my final Father’s Day with my father in 2009. That weekend was split between my daughter and I visiting with Dad at the Rehab Center before meeting my wife and her father at our nephew’s college graduation party.
On top of graduations, there are June weddings. You can add my parent’s anniversary to the list of events we celebrated each June.
And dance recitals. Oh, the memories of all of those Father’s Day afternoons sitting through three-hour dance recitals just to hold your breath through those three anxious minutes that your daughter was on stage.
Here’s the thing about those recitals and the commencements. The dance studio and university intentionally and traditionally scheduled those events for Father’s Day. Unless there is a specific tie-in, I just don’t see many organizations scheduling major events for Mother’s Day. That’s not to say that nothing else ever occurs on Mother’s Day.
As I mentioned in a post about my Mom, one of our most memorable Mother’s Day weekends was the one where I spent two 8+ hours days at the Boston Public Garden taping a 30-minute segment for a television special for a high school musical group – my parents stopping by with meals and snacks. But that only proves the point. We were taping on Mother’s Day weekend because that was the only weekend during that entire spring that we didn’t have a concert scheduled.
Fun Fact #2: Also mentioned in that post was the memory of Mother’s Day 1970 when the Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup. In 1970, the Stanley Cup Finals ended on Mother’s Day and the Northeastern commencement was on Father’s Day. Now, the Stanley Cup Finals are scheduled to run until Father’s Day and Northeastern holds their commencement in the first week of May. Who thinks that it’s a good idea to be playing hockey in mid-June, in Florida and Las Vegas.
That “fruit basket” we made in first grade is long gone, but as I wrote recently, sitting on a shelf in the kitchen is the “Dad’s Stuff” box holding my wallet, keys, etc. that my daughter made for me
In my closet, hang my Dad’s ties, many of which were probably Father’s Day gifts, alongside all of those ties that I received on Father’s Days over the years. (For those wondering why I wear ties on Zoom calls…)
Most important, I have memories.
Memories of those last day of school fried clam dinners at Howard Johnson’s.
Memories like the shocked expressions on our faces as that huge mylar balloon flew out of the car and floated off into the distance when my father opened the car door the last time, he was able to attend one of my daughter’s dance recitals.
So many memories with my father and with my daughter.
Whether you are making new memories with your father or your own children, or are left to remembering old times, be sure to give Father’s Day the attention it deserves.
Happy Father’s Day!
Header image by Hans from Pixabay
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